Zuhl library is an interesting place for a number of reasons. First, it is purely a literary repository with Branson library containing the public documents, maps, and other great caches of scientific works. Secondly it has a huge collection of petrified wood donated from its namesake: Herb Zuhl. Thirdly, it has the most accommodating seating and lighting to read and lounge away free time. With the weather warming up, most of the people squatting in the libraries for the warmth are also clearing out, so it has become a great place to haunt.
So, for the past three or four months I have had a terrible time committing to a book. I've browsed and surveyed over a half dozen books, but haven't settled on anything since I finished Khalil Gibran's The Prophet. I tried reading John Wesley Powell's account of his trip down the Colorado River, read a bit of a fictional story of a sleepwalking bookie with a family curse, and a few other odd books just picked at random from the shelves to fill my time.
After nearly a week of this fruitless searching, I think I've settled on reading through the Carl Jung's Psychology of the Unconscious. I had actually begun to consider reading his works a long while back, but repeatedly found the compilation-style volumes usually offered in bookstores to be uncouth and frustrating. Now that I have a large library at my disposal I can find more well portioned works of his. As much as his ideas are referenced in psychology, music, and countless other places I have yet to come across any non-psychology/philosophy major who has read any of his vast writings.
As much as the cliche of self-discovery in college is touted, separation from parental influence is the main reason I've seen people change. People pick up new music tastes, new friends, start smoking or drinking things, but only minor worldview changes occur. My own personality and opinions have been rather static for a long while now, at least from the start of high school. As nice is it is to offer a reliable element to my friends' lives I've felt stunted and unsatisfied. I'm hoping if I start looking towards my subconscious, I'll overcome most of the neurosis in my life.
As happy as I've been with my classes and social intimacy, I haven't been at peace with my life. There's not much to complain about with my lot, but I do find myself wanting. My school work keeps me pleasantly occupied and learning, and my friends and family are more distant than I'd like but I know they are there for me. That just leaves myself to work on, and I hope that the promising ideas I've come across from Jung will help fill my free time and the personal vacuum I've felt in my life.
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